Ek Bande Ki Suhagraat Thi,
Vo Bade Aaram Se $ex Kar RahaThha,
Par Uski Wife Jor Jor Se Cheekh Rahi Thhi,
Banda Hairan Hua Aur Usne
Puchha. Tum Itna Cheekh
Kyun Rahi Ho?
Wife:Bahar Tere Dost
Khade Hai, Chutiye Teri Izzat Rakh
Rahi Hoon
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Pehli Baar chud@i Karane K Baad
Ladki L*ND ko choom k Boli:
Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gyan Ho Gaya,
'COKE' 'PEPSI'
Sab Bakwas
"MARD Ki LASSI"
Hi Bujhaye Asli Pyaas.
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.
Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Paper Dene Or $ex Karne Ke Baad
Sari Girls Ki Feelings Same Hoti
Hai:Kitna Lamba Tha NaKash Thora
Time Or Mil JataTooba Pehle Kitna
Dar Lag Raha ThaPhir To Pata Hi
Nahi Chala Kab Ho GayaUff Teen
Ghante Tak To Meri Saans Hi Band
Ho Gayi ThiAagay Ka To Theek Tha
Peechay Ka Kitna Mushkil Tha Na.
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
MARD hone k 6 fayade:
1. 'Un Dino' ka tension nahi hota.
2. Koi Heavy saaman latakta nahi
rahta(.)(.)
3. Nange bhi ghumo to kisi ki
bhavnaye nahi jagti.
4. Virgnity ka koi proof nahi hota.
5. Khujane pe hath geela nahi hota.
6. And above all, jaha chahe waha
moot sakte h.
IF U R MEN.!
Jiyo L**D utha k...
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Kaviyatri ki suhag raat ke baad uski
saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi
suhagraat?
Woh boli-
"Aaye the wo der se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
boob tatolkar,
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat ke liye
1 aur vote...
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
$ex kya hai;
$ex ek kala hai, Jo kare uska bhala
hai
$ex ek bhavna hai, jisko pura kurne
ki sabki kaamna hai
$ex do atmaon kaa milan hai, sadiyo
se jiska chalan hai
$ex maja hai, Jo na kare uska jeevan
ek saza hai
$ex bhakti hai, jisme subki mukti hai
$ex ek jaap hai, jisko na jupna
mahapaap hai
$ex amrut hai, poora jeevan jisse
trupt hai - Dirty $ex
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Ek bus me Ladko & Ladkiyo ki team
Antakshari
Khel rahi thi
Girls Hum Tumko Harakar Hi
Dikhayenge,
Pichhe betha PAPPU BOLA :- Hum
Haar Gye, Chalo Ab Dikhao
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Azam Khan- Sirji election time kitna
boring hai, chalo kuch game khelte
hain...
Mulayam- Chal dekhte hai hum
dono mein se sabse bada bakchod
kon hai..!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Ek Ladka bike se Aunty ko ghar
chhodne ja raha tha.Jab bhi aunty
ke b00bs uski peeth se lagte, wo
kehta : "Na pintu na, ye aunty
he."Ghar pahooch ke Aunty boli :
"Tu kis pintu ke sath baat kar raha
tha?"Ladka sharma ke bola :"aapke
nippl*s bar bar takra rhe the,, Mera
p*nis bar bar khada ho raha tha, to
me use samajha raha tha ke pintu
khada na ho, yeh to Aunty
hai."Aunti boli : "Dhutt pagle,Aunty
to mai teri hu,Pintu ki nahi…. chal
andar"
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Most BOYS don't lyk
Touch screen mobile,
U know why?
Jinhe dabane ki aadat
ho,
Unhe bas touch karne
me kahan maza aayega...!!!!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha
Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Teacher: "What Is A Condom?"
.
Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hai
.
Teacher: "Aap Itna Muskura Kyu
Rahe Ho?"
.
Aamir: "Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se
Iccha Thi
Ki Main $ex Education College Mein
Padhu! Aaj
Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa
Raha Hai"
.
Teacher: "Zyada Maza Lene Ki
Zarurat Nahi Hai,
Condom Ki Defination Bolo?"
.
Aamir: "Sir! Condom Is Anything
Which Reduces
Population"
.
Teacher: "Will U Plz Elaborate?"
.
Aamir: "Har Wo Cheez Jo Population
Control
Kare!""
.
Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai,
Condom Hai Na"
"Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah
Tak,Condom Hai Sir"
"Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire
Hue Hai"
"8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh
Tak, Sab
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai"
"1 Second Mein In,1 Second Mein
Out, In-Out,
In-Out"
.
Teacher: "Arre... Defination Kya
Hai?"
.
Aamir: "Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir"
.
Teacher: "Exam Mein Ye Sab
Likhoge?"
.
"Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se
Lekar Subah
Tak!
Idiot""Anybody Else??"
.
Chattur: "Sir!, Condom Are Between
Any
Combination Of Body So Connected,
That Their
Relative Positions May Be Seen In
Kamasutra.
.
."Teacher: "Wah! Kya Baat Hai."
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Marzi Ka $ex Pap Nahi Hota..Piche se
Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap nahi
Hota..Condom Zarur Lagana Mere
DostQki..$ex k Waqt POPAT Ke Pass
Dimag nahi hota. Dirty Shayari
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Ek jungle mein sare male janwar
female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte
rahte the.. !!Saari female jaanwar
mil ke Brahmaji ke pass gayi aur
vardaan mangaa ke kam se kam ek
mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti
miley !Bramhaji ne SAB male
janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko
token de diye aur boley ki ek
mahiney ke baad token lanaa aur
apna-apna lund le jaana.. !Shaam ke
time Bandar ped pe baitha
tha..Bandariya ne usey chedtey hue
kaha:"Chodsaaley,bhenchod ! Ab
chod naa mujhe"?Bandar kuch nahi
bola.Bandariya fir boli"Chod na
Bhadve, chod na behen ke laudey.."!!
Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur
bola:"Ek maheena ruk ja
haraamzaadi ! Maine Haathi ka token
churaya hai..."!!!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
The best ever English to hindi
dictionary for guys:
xcuse me= sun chutiye;
stupid= abe gandu;
get out=Nikal bhosdike;
I m in problem = Yaar loude lag gaye;
I am scared= gaand phati hui hai yaar;
Where r u= Abbey Kahan maa chuda raha hai;
Would u like to have this= lega laudu;
Not possible!!!= chal bhosdike;
He is a very bad person= Bada madarchod hai;
I'm sorry = maa chuda;
Where r u? = kahan gaand mara raha hai?;
I 4give u! = muh mei le le;
No = ghanta;
Too small= jhaant barabar;
Too big= gaand faadu;
Difficulty= gaand faat gayi;
We rock= maa chod di;
And finally the best one:
Dost= laude......
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
HUSBAND WANTED
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided
that it was time to.get married. She
put an ad in the local paper that
read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN
PERSON.
On the second day she heard the
doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a gray-
haired gentleman with no arms or
legs sitting in a wheelchair.
The old woman said, "You're not
really asking me to consider you, are
you? Just look at you ... you have no
legs!" The old man smiled,
"Therefore I cannot run around on
you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any
hands either!"
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I
beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed
intently. "Are you still good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman leaned
back, beamed a big broad smile and
said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
Pappu: Dad, today they taught
about $ex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his
p*nis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad....
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
There are 2 girls in heaven first girl:
how did you die 2nd girl: well i froze
everything waz really cold but then
it got warm how did u die first girl:
well i was sure my husband was
cheetin on me so i came home early
from work one day and he was sittin
on they coach watchin t.v. but i was
so sure i ran around the house and
checked inb closets and underbeds.
then i had a heartattack 2nd girl :
well if you would have looked in the
freezer we both would have been
alive!!!!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
BE A FRIEND LIKE WOMAN'S BRA
COLOURFUL
COMFORTABLE
STRETCHEABLE
SUPPORTIVE
HOLDING TIGHTLY
NEVER LET GO DOWN
ALWAYS NEAR THE HEART
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
A young girl came back to Doctor and
complained, "Doctor, last time you did
my abortion, you forgot your sharp
blade inside of me,"
Doctor "Oh I am sorry, did it hurt you?"
Girl, "No but my eight friends went
impotent, ten of them lost their
fingers, and four of them went dumb.
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
4 stages of relationship:
- Hand in hand.
- Hand in that.
- That in hand.
- That in that.
If you know what i mean..
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
A person was carrying 3 BABIES in the
train.
The Lady next to him asked, "Are they
ur BABIES?"
The Person said: NO! I Own a Condom
Factory
& these are Customer's Complaints!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
An 18 year old Girl got PREGNANT. Her
Angry mother says-Who's the PIG?
Call him..
30 min later a limousine car stops in
front of their house & a Mature grey
haired in a very Expensive SUIT steps
out.
Man:Ur daughter has informed me of
the Problem, howevr I can't Marry her..
But if a GIRL is born I offer a villa & 2
million dolrs.
If a BOY is born den 2 factories & 5
million dolrs.
But in case of Miscarriage, what do u
suggest I do?
Mom-FU*K HER AGAI
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
Little Student: Madam, when I grow up,
how will my wife have a baby?
Teacher: (after thinking for sometime)
An angel will come from heaven &
hand
over a baby to your wife.
Student: so who do I need to fu*k ??
wife or angel ?
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
Man In Bar Orders Kingfisher Beer.
Lady Next To Him- What A Co-
incidence, Even I Have Ordered
Kingfisher.
Man- I'm Celebrating.
Lady- Me too.
Man- What A Coincidence.
Why are you Celebrating?
Lady- My Husband & I Have Tried 4
Yrs For A Baby..
Today I'm Pregnant.
Man- What A Coincidence
I Am A Farmer From 4 Yrs My Hens
Were Infertile, Today All Laying Eggs
Lady- Wow How Did That Happen?
Man- I Used A Different Cock .
Lady SMILED & Said
WHAT A COINCIDENCE...!!!!!!!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
A Guy with 25 inch Long p*nis to
God : I can't live with this long p*nis..
God : Go to that Lake,
U will find a Female Frog. Ask her to
Marry u,
she'll say No & U will Lose 5 inch.
He Went & asked the Frog : will u
Marry me?
Frog : No
He Lost 5 inches.
He thought 20 inch is still Long.
So he asked again : will u Marry Me?
Frog : No
He Lost 5 inches More.
He thought 15 inch is Great,
But 10inches is Ideal
So he asked again : will u Marry me?
Frog : How many Times do I have to
tell u?
NO! NO! NO!
khel khatam
laude lag gaye !
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
4 Gals take lift in a Car full of
Engineers
Since no place, sat on their lap
After 10min
...Grl1:r u Telecom Engr
Boy1:how u know
Grl1:ur Tower is comunicating wit
my Unreachble area
Grl2:r u Computer Engnr?
Boy2:how u know?
Grl2:ur Pen drive is trying to
connect wit my USB Drive
Grl3:r u Automobile Engr?
Boy3:how u know?
Grl3:ur Piston is trying to move
into my Cylinder
Grl4: r u Civil Engr?
Boy4:how u know?
Girl4:ur Dam had broken &
flooded my Village;)
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is
it OK for us guys to notice all the
different kind of b00bs?"Surprised,
the father answers, "Well, sure son,
we wouldn't be normal if we didn't...
there are all kinds of
breasts.Depending on a woman's
age, they are different shapes.In her
twenties, a woman's breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her
thirties to forties, they are like
pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like
onions.""Onions, Dad?""Yeah, you
see them and they make you cry!"
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
Latest News: Arvind Kejriwal has
stopped wearing his underwears
bcoz...
He can't wear VIP underwears as
they have VIP written on them.
He can't wear Rupa since people
would say he always keeps Rupa
around his private parts, and in
Delhi that's a dangerous thing to do.
Or Jockey as horse riding is a rich
man's pastime.
He can't wear Macroman since he is
a common man.
He can't wear Dixcy since he does
not want people to see his d***
And he can't go commando since he
has refused security.
So now all he needs is cover his
private parts with mango leaves to
prove that he is a "aam" admi and
his protection is the aam.
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
ho out of control
pent ko tu apni khol
Choom k tu uska hole
dalde tu apna pole.
Lund ghusa, ball daba,
gaand maar k bol DARLING AAL IZZ WELL. :-D
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
11 year old girl realized growing hair
between her
legs. Got worried and yelled Mom
about hair. Mom
calmly said. "That part where hair
has grown is
called a monkey, be proud that your
monkey has
grown hair."
Next morning at breakfast she told
her elder sister
"My monkey has grown hair"
Her Elder Sister smiled and said.
"that's nothing, mine started eating
banana's."
Vo Bade Aaram Se $ex Kar RahaThha,
Par Uski Wife Jor Jor Se Cheekh Rahi Thhi,
Banda Hairan Hua Aur Usne
Puchha. Tum Itna Cheekh
Kyun Rahi Ho?
Wife:Bahar Tere Dost
Khade Hai, Chutiye Teri Izzat Rakh
Rahi Hoon
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Pehli Baar chud@i Karane K Baad
Ladki L*ND ko choom k Boli:
Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gyan Ho Gaya,
'COKE' 'PEPSI'
Sab Bakwas
"MARD Ki LASSI"
Hi Bujhaye Asli Pyaas.
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.
Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Paper Dene Or $ex Karne Ke Baad
Sari Girls Ki Feelings Same Hoti
Hai:Kitna Lamba Tha NaKash Thora
Time Or Mil JataTooba Pehle Kitna
Dar Lag Raha ThaPhir To Pata Hi
Nahi Chala Kab Ho GayaUff Teen
Ghante Tak To Meri Saans Hi Band
Ho Gayi ThiAagay Ka To Theek Tha
Peechay Ka Kitna Mushkil Tha Na.
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
MARD hone k 6 fayade:
1. 'Un Dino' ka tension nahi hota.
2. Koi Heavy saaman latakta nahi
rahta(.)(.)
3. Nange bhi ghumo to kisi ki
bhavnaye nahi jagti.
4. Virgnity ka koi proof nahi hota.
5. Khujane pe hath geela nahi hota.
6. And above all, jaha chahe waha
moot sakte h.
IF U R MEN.!
Jiyo L**D utha k...
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Kaviyatri ki suhag raat ke baad uski
saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi
suhagraat?
Woh boli-
"Aaye the wo der se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
boob tatolkar,
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat ke liye
1 aur vote...
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
$ex kya hai;
$ex ek kala hai, Jo kare uska bhala
hai
$ex ek bhavna hai, jisko pura kurne
ki sabki kaamna hai
$ex do atmaon kaa milan hai, sadiyo
se jiska chalan hai
$ex maja hai, Jo na kare uska jeevan
ek saza hai
$ex bhakti hai, jisme subki mukti hai
$ex ek jaap hai, jisko na jupna
mahapaap hai
$ex amrut hai, poora jeevan jisse
trupt hai - Dirty $ex
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Ek bus me Ladko & Ladkiyo ki team
Antakshari
Khel rahi thi
Girls Hum Tumko Harakar Hi
Dikhayenge,
Pichhe betha PAPPU BOLA :- Hum
Haar Gye, Chalo Ab Dikhao
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Azam Khan- Sirji election time kitna
boring hai, chalo kuch game khelte
hain...
Mulayam- Chal dekhte hai hum
dono mein se sabse bada bakchod
kon hai..!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Ek Ladka bike se Aunty ko ghar
chhodne ja raha tha.Jab bhi aunty
ke b00bs uski peeth se lagte, wo
kehta : "Na pintu na, ye aunty
he."Ghar pahooch ke Aunty boli :
"Tu kis pintu ke sath baat kar raha
tha?"Ladka sharma ke bola :"aapke
nippl*s bar bar takra rhe the,, Mera
p*nis bar bar khada ho raha tha, to
me use samajha raha tha ke pintu
khada na ho, yeh to Aunty
hai."Aunti boli : "Dhutt pagle,Aunty
to mai teri hu,Pintu ki nahi…. chal
andar"
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Most BOYS don't lyk
Touch screen mobile,
U know why?
Jinhe dabane ki aadat
ho,
Unhe bas touch karne
me kahan maza aayega...!!!!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha
Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Teacher: "What Is A Condom?"
.
Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hai
.
Teacher: "Aap Itna Muskura Kyu
Rahe Ho?"
.
Aamir: "Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se
Iccha Thi
Ki Main $ex Education College Mein
Padhu! Aaj
Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa
Raha Hai"
.
Teacher: "Zyada Maza Lene Ki
Zarurat Nahi Hai,
Condom Ki Defination Bolo?"
.
Aamir: "Sir! Condom Is Anything
Which Reduces
Population"
.
Teacher: "Will U Plz Elaborate?"
.
Aamir: "Har Wo Cheez Jo Population
Control
Kare!""
.
Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai,
Condom Hai Na"
"Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah
Tak,Condom Hai Sir"
"Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire
Hue Hai"
"8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh
Tak, Sab
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai"
"1 Second Mein In,1 Second Mein
Out, In-Out,
In-Out"
.
Teacher: "Arre... Defination Kya
Hai?"
.
Aamir: "Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir"
.
Teacher: "Exam Mein Ye Sab
Likhoge?"
.
"Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se
Lekar Subah
Tak!
Idiot""Anybody Else??"
.
Chattur: "Sir!, Condom Are Between
Any
Combination Of Body So Connected,
That Their
Relative Positions May Be Seen In
Kamasutra.
.
."Teacher: "Wah! Kya Baat Hai."
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Marzi Ka $ex Pap Nahi Hota..Piche se
Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap nahi
Hota..Condom Zarur Lagana Mere
DostQki..$ex k Waqt POPAT Ke Pass
Dimag nahi hota. Dirty Shayari
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Adult Jokes
Ek jungle mein sare male janwar
female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte
rahte the.. !!Saari female jaanwar
mil ke Brahmaji ke pass gayi aur
vardaan mangaa ke kam se kam ek
mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti
miley !Bramhaji ne SAB male
janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko
token de diye aur boley ki ek
mahiney ke baad token lanaa aur
apna-apna lund le jaana.. !Shaam ke
time Bandar ped pe baitha
tha..Bandariya ne usey chedtey hue
kaha:"Chodsaaley,bhenchod ! Ab
chod naa mujhe"?Bandar kuch nahi
bola.Bandariya fir boli"Chod na
Bhadve, chod na behen ke laudey.."!!
Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur
bola:"Ek maheena ruk ja
haraamzaadi ! Maine Haathi ka token
churaya hai..."!!!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
The best ever English to hindi
dictionary for guys:
xcuse me= sun chutiye;
stupid= abe gandu;
get out=Nikal bhosdike;
I m in problem = Yaar loude lag gaye;
I am scared= gaand phati hui hai yaar;
Where r u= Abbey Kahan maa chuda raha hai;
Would u like to have this= lega laudu;
Not possible!!!= chal bhosdike;
He is a very bad person= Bada madarchod hai;
I'm sorry = maa chuda;
Where r u? = kahan gaand mara raha hai?;
I 4give u! = muh mei le le;
No = ghanta;
Too small= jhaant barabar;
Too big= gaand faadu;
Difficulty= gaand faat gayi;
We rock= maa chod di;
And finally the best one:
Dost= laude......
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
HUSBAND WANTED
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided
that it was time to.get married. She
put an ad in the local paper that
read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN
PERSON.
On the second day she heard the
doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a gray-
haired gentleman with no arms or
legs sitting in a wheelchair.
The old woman said, "You're not
really asking me to consider you, are
you? Just look at you ... you have no
legs!" The old man smiled,
"Therefore I cannot run around on
you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any
hands either!"
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I
beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed
intently. "Are you still good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman leaned
back, beamed a big broad smile and
said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
Pappu: Dad, today they taught
about $ex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his
p*nis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad....
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
There are 2 girls in heaven first girl:
how did you die 2nd girl: well i froze
everything waz really cold but then
it got warm how did u die first girl:
well i was sure my husband was
cheetin on me so i came home early
from work one day and he was sittin
on they coach watchin t.v. but i was
so sure i ran around the house and
checked inb closets and underbeds.
then i had a heartattack 2nd girl :
well if you would have looked in the
freezer we both would have been
alive!!!!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
BE A FRIEND LIKE WOMAN'S BRA
COLOURFUL
COMFORTABLE
STRETCHEABLE
SUPPORTIVE
HOLDING TIGHTLY
NEVER LET GO DOWN
ALWAYS NEAR THE HEART
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
A young girl came back to Doctor and
complained, "Doctor, last time you did
my abortion, you forgot your sharp
blade inside of me,"
Doctor "Oh I am sorry, did it hurt you?"
Girl, "No but my eight friends went
impotent, ten of them lost their
fingers, and four of them went dumb.
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
4 stages of relationship:
- Hand in hand.
- Hand in that.
- That in hand.
- That in that.
If you know what i mean..
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
A person was carrying 3 BABIES in the
train.
The Lady next to him asked, "Are they
ur BABIES?"
The Person said: NO! I Own a Condom
Factory
& these are Customer's Complaints!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
An 18 year old Girl got PREGNANT. Her
Angry mother says-Who's the PIG?
Call him..
30 min later a limousine car stops in
front of their house & a Mature grey
haired in a very Expensive SUIT steps
out.
Man:Ur daughter has informed me of
the Problem, howevr I can't Marry her..
But if a GIRL is born I offer a villa & 2
million dolrs.
If a BOY is born den 2 factories & 5
million dolrs.
But in case of Miscarriage, what do u
suggest I do?
Mom-FU*K HER AGAI
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
Little Student: Madam, when I grow up,
how will my wife have a baby?
Teacher: (after thinking for sometime)
An angel will come from heaven &
hand
over a baby to your wife.
Student: so who do I need to fu*k ??
wife or angel ?
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
Man In Bar Orders Kingfisher Beer.
Lady Next To Him- What A Co-
incidence, Even I Have Ordered
Kingfisher.
Man- I'm Celebrating.
Lady- Me too.
Man- What A Coincidence.
Why are you Celebrating?
Lady- My Husband & I Have Tried 4
Yrs For A Baby..
Today I'm Pregnant.
Man- What A Coincidence
I Am A Farmer From 4 Yrs My Hens
Were Infertile, Today All Laying Eggs
Lady- Wow How Did That Happen?
Man- I Used A Different Cock .
Lady SMILED & Said
WHAT A COINCIDENCE...!!!!!!!
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
A Guy with 25 inch Long p*nis to
God : I can't live with this long p*nis..
God : Go to that Lake,
U will find a Female Frog. Ask her to
Marry u,
she'll say No & U will Lose 5 inch.
He Went & asked the Frog : will u
Marry me?
Frog : No
He Lost 5 inches.
He thought 20 inch is still Long.
So he asked again : will u Marry Me?
Frog : No
He Lost 5 inches More.
He thought 15 inch is Great,
But 10inches is Ideal
So he asked again : will u Marry me?
Frog : How many Times do I have to
tell u?
NO! NO! NO!
khel khatam
laude lag gaye !
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
4 Gals take lift in a Car full of
Engineers
Since no place, sat on their lap
After 10min
...Grl1:r u Telecom Engr
Boy1:how u know
Grl1:ur Tower is comunicating wit
my Unreachble area
Grl2:r u Computer Engnr?
Boy2:how u know?
Grl2:ur Pen drive is trying to
connect wit my USB Drive
Grl3:r u Automobile Engr?
Boy3:how u know?
Grl3:ur Piston is trying to move
into my Cylinder
Grl4: r u Civil Engr?
Boy4:how u know?
Girl4:ur Dam had broken &
flooded my Village;)
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is
it OK for us guys to notice all the
different kind of b00bs?"Surprised,
the father answers, "Well, sure son,
we wouldn't be normal if we didn't...
there are all kinds of
breasts.Depending on a woman's
age, they are different shapes.In her
twenties, a woman's breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her
thirties to forties, they are like
pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like
onions.""Onions, Dad?""Yeah, you
see them and they make you cry!"
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
Latest News: Arvind Kejriwal has
stopped wearing his underwears
bcoz...
He can't wear VIP underwears as
they have VIP written on them.
He can't wear Rupa since people
would say he always keeps Rupa
around his private parts, and in
Delhi that's a dangerous thing to do.
Or Jockey as horse riding is a rich
man's pastime.
He can't wear Macroman since he is
a common man.
He can't wear Dixcy since he does
not want people to see his d***
And he can't go commando since he
has refused security.
So now all he needs is cover his
private parts with mango leaves to
prove that he is a "aam" admi and
his protection is the aam.
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
ho out of control
pent ko tu apni khol
Choom k tu uska hole
dalde tu apna pole.
Lund ghusa, ball daba,
gaand maar k bol DARLING AAL IZZ WELL. :-D
😜😜😜😜 Non Veg Dirty Jokes
11 year old girl realized growing hair
between her
legs. Got worried and yelled Mom
about hair. Mom
calmly said. "That part where hair
has grown is
called a monkey, be proud that your
monkey has
grown hair."
Next morning at breakfast she told
her elder sister
"My monkey has grown hair"
Her Elder Sister smiled and said.
"that's nothing, mine started eating
banana's."
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